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Stay positive

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Stay positive

Marcial Losada is an organisational psychologist who studies the power of positivity. He argues that we need a negative feedback loop to survive. Without midcourse corrections, we mindlessly make the same mistakes. But if we want to thrive, we also need a positive feedback loop. His studies have produced what is known as the Losada ratio: it's the ratio of positive feedback to negative feedback in a system. It doesn't matter whether that system is a church, family or workplace, there need to be at least 2.9 positive feedbacks for every one negative.

So, what's your ratio as a spouse, a parent, a worker, a friend? Part of the reason for the disparity is that negative feedback tends to carry more weight and last longer, so it has to be counterbalanced. A pretty good rule of thumb is this: dish out three compliments for every complaint. Instead of looking for faults, train yourself to catch people doing things right.

And here are a few more things you can do to stay positive. (1) Memorise and meditate on the promises of God's word and anchor yourself to them. (2) Keep a gratitude journal. It will let you know how blessed and how well-off you are. (3) Cultivate the habit of sending a heartfelt note to people you appreciate. It'll only take you two minutes, but you can make someone's day, or even someone's year! (4) Find a way to share 'wins' with your family and in your workplace. It has the power to shift the focus and shift the culture. It'll also anchor you to the people in your life in a powerful new way.

Soulfood / Bible in a Year


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Jun17

Pray about it

Fanny Crosby, the noted hymn writer, said she never attempted to write a hymn without first kneeling in prayer. Given that she wrote about 8,000 songs, she was obviously a woman of prayer! Beloved hymns such as 'Blessed Assurance', 'To God Be The Glory', and 'I Am Thine, O Lord' were born from times of prayer.

Like many creative people, Fanny was often under pressure to meet deadlines. One time she tried to write lyrics for a tune composed by W.H. Doane. She couldn't seem to find the words, but then she remembered she had forgotten to pray. As she rose from her knees, she dictated - as fast as her assistant could write - the words for the famous hymn, 'Jesus, Keep Me Near the Cross'. Another time she had run short of money and needed exactly five dollars for a particular purpose. There was no time to call upon her publishers, so she simply prayed for the money. As she ended her prayer, she began to pace back and forth in her room, trying to get into the mood to write. Just at that time, an admirer called upon her. The two chatted briefly, and in parting, the woman pressed something into her hand. It was a five-dollar bill! Fanny fell to her knees in a prayer of thanksgiving, and, upon rising, she wrote one of her most famous hymns, 'All the Way My Saviour Leads Me'.

The secret of Fanny Crosby's success is not a 'secret'. Before she attempted anything for God, she first sought God's help. So, the word for today is - pray about it!

Jun16

Outgrow the problem!

Before leaving the leaders of the church at Ephesus for the last time, Paul told them: 'The Holy Spirit testifies in every city, saying that chains and tribulations await me. But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy' (Acts 20:23-24 NKJV).

There are two ways to deal with a problem: (1) Pray and believe God to remove it, like he did with the walls of Jericho.

(2) Outgrow the problem. In the 1920s, an English adventurer named Mallory led an expedition to try to conquer Mount Everest. His first two attempts failed. On his third attempt, he and most of his team were wiped out in an avalanche. Upon their return to England, the few who had survived held a banquet to honour Mallory and those who had perished. As the leader of the survivors stood to speak, he looked around the hall at the framed pictures of Mallory and the others who had died. Then he turned his back to the crowd and faced a large picture of Mount Everest, which stood looming behind the banquet table like a silent, unbeatable giant. With tears streaming down his face, he spoke to the mountain on behalf of his deceased friends: 'I speak to you, Mount Everest, in the name of all brave men and women living and those yet unborn. Mount Everest, you defeated us once; you defeated us twice; you defeated us three times. But we shall someday defeat you, because you can't get any bigger - but we can.'

Jun15

God's more for you

The Lord charged the church at Ephesus with 'you don't love me as at first' (Revelation 2:4 TLB) and the church of Laodicea with being 'neither hot nor cold, but lukewarm' (Revelation 3:16 NIV). R.T. Kendall said, 'The greatest opposition to what God wants to do next comes from those who were on the cutting edge of what God did last.' Read the following Scriptures carefully and prayerfully: 'Do not say, "Why were the old days better than these?" For it is not wise to ask such questions' (Ecclesiastes 7:10 NIV). '

The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day' (Proverbs 4:18 NIV). 'Let's do our best to know the Lord. His coming is as certain as the morning sun; he will refresh us like rain renewing the earth in the springtime' (Hosea 6:3 CEV). 'When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on his own but will tell you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. He will bring me glory by telling you whatever he receives from me' (John 16:13-14 NLT). 'Ask me and I will tell you remarkable secrets you do not know about things to come' (Jeremiah 33:3 NLT). 'May [you] be able to comprehend...the width and length and depth and height - to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge; that you may be filled with all the fullness of God' (Ephesians 3:18-19 NKJV).

The word for today is - God has more in store for you.

Jun14

Pull down strongholds

Just as Jericho was a stronghold in Canaan, we have strongholds in our lives. Paul wrote: 'The weapons we fight with...have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God' (2 Corinthians 10:4-5 NIV). A stronghold is an 'argument' or a 'high thing' that 'exalts itself against the knowledge of God'. It is a conviction, outlook or belief that attempts to interfere with the truth and deny God's promises. It 'sets itself up against the knowledge of God' (2 Corinthians 10:5 NIV). It attempts to magnify the problem and minimise God's ability to solve it.

Does a stronghold have a strong hold on you? Do you speak the language of impossibility? God could never forgive me (the stronghold of guilt). I could never forgive that person (the stronghold of resentment). Bad things always happen to me (the stronghold of self-pity). I have to be in charge (the stronghold of pride). I don't deserve to be loved (the stronghold of rejection). I'll never recover (the stronghold of defeat). I must be good, or God will reject me (the stronghold of performance). I'm only as good as I look (the stronghold of appearance). My value equals my possessions (the stronghold of materialism).

Many Christians don't recognise the strongholds in their lives. But you don't have to be among them. God has given you the weapons of prayer, Scripture, the name of Jesus, the blood of Jesus, fellowship, etc. And collectively, they have 'divine power to demolish strongholds' (2 Corinthians 10:4 NIV).

Jun13

Keep going!

Someone said: 'The secret of success is to be like a duck - smooth and unruffled on top, and paddling furiously underneath.' Niccol Paganini, the well-known nineteenth-century violinist, illustrated this. His most memorable concert was marked by 'furious paddling under the surface' rather than easy success. The concert was performed with a full orchestra before a packed house in Italy. Those who heard him play say his technique was incredible and his tone fantastic. Towards the end of the concert, he was astounding his audience with a very difficult composition, when one string on his violin snapped and hung limply from his instrument. Paganini frowned briefly, shook his head and continued to play, improvising beautifully. Then, to everyone's surprise, including Paganini's, a second string broke; shortly thereafter, a third! It seemed like a slapstick comedy routine as Paganini stood before the awed crowd with three strings dangling from his Stradivarius violin. But instead of leaving the stage to repair his instrument, he stood firm. He calmly completed the difficult number on the one remaining string - a performance that won him applause, admiration and enduring fame.

Here's another saying: 'It's when the going gets tough, that the tough get going!' Paul was such a man: 'Forgetting the past and straining towards what is ahead, I keep trying to reach the goal and get the prize for which God called me through Christ to the life above' (Philippians 3:13-14 NCV). All of us who are spiritually mature should think this way too. So don't give up; keep going!

Jun12

Revelation of God's love (3)

Paul asked: 'Who shall separate us from the love of Christ' (Romans 8:35 NIV)? And the answer is...nothing! Then he came up with a laundry list of worst-case scenarios, from trouble to danger and anything in between: 'Trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword'. When Paul wrote 'hardship', he was back in the Mediterranean Sea during a terrible typhoon. 'Persecution' pinged his memory of being stoned at Lystra and left for dead. 'Trials': Paul stood trial before Nero himself. He also went without food, was bitten by a poisonous snake, and had the clothes stripped off his back so he could be flogged. This did not happen only once or twice. Five times he received the maximum sentence - forty lashes minus one. Paul's back was whiplashed and crisscrossed with at least 195 scars.

Hardship has one of two effects: it hardens or softens our hearts. And it's the hardening or softening that makes us or breaks us. Research in psychology shows that between half to two-thirds of people who survive extreme hardship or crisis later experience positive personal changes - a phenomenon known as post-traumatic growth. It's the tough times that test our love, but also prove it.

The love of Christ wasn't proved by his miracles - it was proved on a Roman cross. And it has proven to be fail proof. So no matter what trouble, hardship or persecution you face, this too shall pass. More importantly, Jesus is with you and Jesus is for you. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate you from his love!