The Word For Today

Rosalie Elliot made it to the fourth round of a national spelling contest. The eleven-year-old from South Carolina was asked to spell the word 'avowal'. In her soft southern accent she spelled the word, but the judges were unable to determine if she had used an 'a' or an 'e' as the next-to-last letter. They debated among themselves for several minutes as they listened to the recording, but it was too accent-blurred to decipher. Finally, the chief judge put the question to the only person who knew the answer. 'Was the letter an 'a', or was it an 'e'?' he asked Rosalie. By this time, being surrounded by whispering young spellers, Rosalie knew the correct spelling of the word. Still, without hesitation, she replied that she had misspelled the word, and she walked from the stage. The audience stood and applauded, including newspaper reporters. The moment was a proud one for her parents. Even in defeat, she was a victor. And, more has been written about Rosalie Elliot over the years than about the 'unknown' winner of the event.

As a redeemed child of God, your heavenly Father requires honesty in word and deed. 'Truthful words stand the test of time, but lies are soon exposed' (Proverbs 12:19 NLT). 'Do not lie to one another, since you have put off the old man with his deeds' (Colossians 3:9 NKJV). 'Therefore, put away lying, "Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbour," for we are members of one another' (Ephesians 4:25 NKJV).

Anger scares many of us because we've been harmed by it. But anger can be evidence that a person cares about someone or something. Some things are made right because someone got angry about them. If you shut down all anger, you eliminate passion, intimacy and love.

Here are two ways to make anger work for you: (1) Direct your anger at the right target. Your spouse is not the enemy; Satan is. He comes to 'steal, and to kill, and to destroy' (John 10:10 NKJV). He's the one trying to drive a wedge between you. Consciously move your focus from your spouse to the problem. For example, get angry at your lack of finances, not your spouse's spending. Get angry at demands pulling you in different directions, not your spouse staying late at work. Get angry at the limitations on intimacy, not your spouse saying no to sex. Put the problem 'out there', separate from you and your spouse. See yourselves as fighting the problem together. Attack the problem, not each other.

(2) Look for the pain. Find the pain that triggered the anger; it's almost always there. Look for it in your spouse and in your own heart. What need isn't being met? What wound has been exposed? What shame or fear is aroused? When you identify the pain, you'll be much closer to the solution. But beware! By being vulnerable, you could further wound each other; so acknowledge it and forgive quickly. Staying engaged while risking vulnerability increases intimacy more than anything else. So embrace anger as God's gift, and learn how to make it work for you.

You can actually use anger to deepen the bond between you and your spouse.

Here's how: (1) Acknowledge the place of anger. A person ruled by anger is not safe, healthy or wise. 'Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls' (Proverbs 25:28 NKJV). But if you and your spouse can learn to rule anger instead of letting it rule you, it can be invaluable. Think of the emotion as a flare sent up by your brain telling you there's something you need to deal with. Find your own way to acknowledge your feelings. If you struggle to control your anger, take a walk and let the temperature decrease. Then come back, re-engage and deal with the issue.

(2) Don't run away. If you're truly in danger, you need to get somewhere safe. But if not, staying engaged with your spouse validates the feelings of both of you. It's the only way to get a solution. If either of you is angry, agree to deal with it. You may need to plan a time to do so, but don't wait long. If nothing else, determine to deal with it before going to sleep that night. You may not find a solution to the whole problem, but make a pact to defuse the situation before the day ends. 'Don't let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil' (Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT). If necessary, schedule a time to address the issue. You both deserve it, and your marriage is worth it.

The Bible is meant to be prayed through, meditated on and lived out. The key is the quickening (basically bringing something to life) of the Holy Spirit. 'But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he...shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit' (Romans 8:11 KJV). In this instance, 'quickening' refers to our bodily resurrection from the dead.

But the Holy Spirit quickens us in many ways. Sometimes it's a God-given idea that fires across our synapses. Sometimes it's a prompting to step up, step in or step out in faith. Sometimes it's a word of wisdom in a difficult situation. When the Holy Spirit quickens you in that way, don't hesitate. Act on the idea, seize the opportunity and speak the word.

This word 'quicken' has several meanings. Let's look at three of them: (1) To quicken means to catalyse. Think chemistry. Hebrews 4:12 says that the word is living and active. The same Spirit that inspired the writers in Scripture also inspires you as you read it. And when the living word is catalysed by faith, a supernatural reaction takes place that forgives sin, relieves fear, heals sickness, inspires ideas and births dreams. (2) To quicken means to transfer possession. Think of real estate. You just can't put a contract on a home; you have to go to completion. By faith, we take ownership of the word, and the word takes ownership of us. When the word is quickened, it seals the deal. (3) To quicken also means to conceive. When the word is conceived, it impregnates you with possibilities, changes your desires, eradicates your fears and forms the mind of Christ in you.

Isn't that the word Joshua needed - a reminder of God's almighty presence? Isn't that what you need - to know that God is near, that you are never alone, and that in your darkest hour, in your deepest questions, the Lord will never leave you. David said: 'Lord, you alone are my inheritance, my cup of blessing. You guard all that is mine...I will bless the Lord who guides me...I know the Lord is always with me. I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me. No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice' (Psalm 16:5-9 NLT).

Are you facing a Jericho-level challenge? Do what Joshua did: 'He lifted his eyes...and behold, a Man stood opposite him' (Joshua 5:13 NKJV). You've looked at the problem long enough. Lift your eyes to the problem solver - Jesus!

If you're a redeemed child of God, then the Holy Spirit lives within you. And he will guide you towards God's blessings for your life, and to bless others. In some cases, your ability to overrule reason, tune out the well-meaning advice of others and be led by God's Spirit can make a world of difference for someone in need.

Admiral Sir Thomas Williams was in command of a ship that routinely crossed the Atlantic. His course brought him in sight of Ascension Island, which was uninhabited most of the time. It was barely visible on the horizon when Sir Thomas felt a great urge to steer his vessel towards it. The closer he came to the island, the greater the urgency he felt. When he gave the order to head for the island, his lieutenant respectfully pointed out that such a course chang e would greatly delay them. Even so, the admiral remained intent. The inner urging, which he had come to recognise as God guiding him, was very strong. As the ship neared the island, his crew spotted a white flag. 'It must be a signal!' Williams concluded. Sure enough, on the beach were sixteen men who'd been shipwrecked many days before. They were starving and had nearly given up hope.

Sixteen lives were saved in one day because a man had learned to listen to and obey the voice of the Holy Spirit within him. And you can too. 'The true children of God are those who let God's Spirit lead them' (Romans 8:14 NCV).